Alpha women are strong of mind and independent in every sense of the word. They are used to taking charge and can intimidate some people. They are confident and ambitious and not afraid to tell people what is what. That kind of power can be off-putting for some partners who are either overly competitive with the Alpha Woman or too submissive to be a true partner. So what does a true Alpha Woman need to maintain a strong and healthy relationship?
Here are 10 things alpha women need in a relationship:
1. They Need To Be Challenged
A partner to an Alpha woman needs to be able to hold their own. The Alpha woman needs someone to compete with and who is secure enough in their own abilities to be gracious in victory and a good sport in defeat.
2. They Need Trust
They need to know that what they tell you in confidence will stay in that relationship vault. They need to be able to vulnerable and let their guard down once in a while. They need to trust someone not to stab them in the back for their own personal gain.
3. They Need Respect
They need their partner to respect their decisions and not to second guess them at every turn. It is okay to challenge them before the decision is made but not afterward. They need their space and their boundaries respected as well. This also includes not being lied to for whatever reason. They need someone who doesn’t belittle them when they are angry or put them on a pedestal they will fall off of eventually.
4. They Need Their Independence
They need to be able to enjoy their personal passions, their friends and do what needs to be done. They don’t need a clingy person who can’t survive for a few hours without them. They want someone like them who also has their own life outside of the relationship.
5. They Need Someone Who Can Keep Up
Alpha women have things that have to be done and no one is going to do those things for them. They are moving at a high speed. They are time-efficient and booked solid. They need someone who can hang with them and their high-pressure and high-intensity environment.
6. They Need an Equal Partner
They need someone who is an equal partner; someone who carries their own weight in the relationship. They need someone who has their own opinions, who has their own finances in order and who has their ego in a healthy place. They need someone to walk with them, not behind them or in front of them. They don’t have to be the same or have the same opinions, hobbies or friends. They have to be a complete and self-sufficient person on their own though before they can be a partner.
7. They Need To Laugh
They need someone who can make them laugh and lighten the mood in their often stressful and high pressure lives. They need someone who can bring a smile to their face, who can tease them and be teased in return without hurt feelings on either side.
8. They Need To Be Called Out When Necessary
They need someone who is strong and secure enough to call out an alpha woman on her own bullsh*t. Someone to remind them that they are not perfect and that they can in fact make mistakes from time to time without being a jerk about it. Everyone needs their ego checked occasionally and the alpha woman is no exception. Their power and personality makes it necessary to have someone who will reign them in a bit when they go off the rails.
9. They Need Someone Who Is Informed
In order to be all of these things, a partner of an alpha woman has to be informed about things from current events to esoteric knowledge. They have to be able to have an intelligent conversation with the alpha woman and express ideas on her level. In the age of social media and information bubbles, it is important for the partner of an alpha woman to have a well-tuned bullsh*t detector.
10. They Need Someone With Tact
Most importantly, they need someone with tact, someone who knows when to have that intense talk about something important and when to let it go for now. They need someone who can handle their moods and emotions without ruffling feathers any more than they already are. They need someone who is thoughtful and sensitive enough to pick up on how they are feeling and to broach difficult subjects in private.
Article sourced here: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/10-things-alpha-women-need-relationship/
For decades I was plagued by a bully who beat me up every chance he had.
He didn’t live on my street or go to my school; he lived in my head.
He harassed me with negative thoughts and threw spitballs at my confidence daily.
Later I would learn that many of us live with this constant distress. It’s called the “Inner Critic.”
The Inner Critic is a stream of ruminating thoughts. “I’m not good enough,” it says. “I will look stupid if I try this.” ”That’s only for people who are smart, lucky, and good-looking. And by the way, I am none of these.” It mocks us, berates us, and f*cks with our self-esteem. For me, these unwelcome thoughts came from nowhere, and would stick around like a turd on the bottom of my shoe.
Through therapy and a program of recovery, I learned that there was another voice. This one was a little friendlier but tended to get truncated by my Inner Critic. Still, he was there, if only I listened. I was introduced to my “Inner Advocate.”
My Inner Advocate is creative. He’s a risk-taker and likes to help me solve problems. He is optimistic. My Inner Advocate is pulling for me like a cosmic cheerleader on Super Bowl Sunday. He says things to me like, “I can do this, I have what it takes!” “Let’s make the world a better place!” and “I look damn fine in yellow!”
When we find ourselves burdened with inner-dialogue that is constantly berating us, we may become discouraged. Nevertheless, we all have an Inner Advocate accessible to us. Our advocate is our authentic self. It resides in the deepest part of our souls, waiting to be asked to come out and dance.
We have all have experienced hurt, trauma, and abuse at some level; as a result, negativity can hold our confidence hostage for fear of being wounded again. If we want to live in authenticity, we have to have the courage to listen to the still-small voice of the Inner Advocate.
In his work, The Legend Of Bagger Vance, Steven Pressfield’s protagonist describes the Inner Advocate as our “authentic swing.”
“Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing…Somethin’ we was born with…Somethin’ that’s ours and ours alone…Somethin’ that can’t be taught to ya or learned…Something that got to be remembered…Over time the world can rob us of that swing…It get buried inside us under all our wouldas and couldas and shouldas…Some folk even forget what their swing was like…”
If you’ve forgotten your swing, you can find it again, if you’re willing to tune into its frequency.
Once a negative thought begins to attack our conscious, we can’t just “not” think about it. That’s like trying to not think of a pink elephant. Instead, we have to make a deliberate decision to replace the thought with something different—say a blue alligator. Think of it like this: When I’m listening to the radio, and a song comes on I don’t like, do you know what I do? I change the channel. We all have the power to switch the channel and tune into something more to our liking. When my monkey mind plays D.J. and throws out random negative thoughts, I let my Inner Advocate control the station.
Beverly Engel, author of The Nice Girl Syndrome, puts it this way: “Turn down the volume of your negative inner-voice and create a nurturing inner-voice to take its place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.”
For me, tuning into positive thoughts and listening to my Inner Advocate was challenging and took a lot of practice. But once I learned to identify whose voice was in control, I was able to change the channel and invoke my Inner Advocate. Soon the Inner Critic learned to be quiet. I found practicing the “Three Rs of challenging thoughts” to be helpful.
Three Rs of challenging thoughts:
1. Recognize: My first step was only to recognize when the Inner Critic hijacked my brain. To do this more consciously, I got one of those rubber bracelets. Whenever I observed I was having self-deprecating thoughts, I move the bracelet to the other wrist. It sounds silly, but by doing this physical act, I started to program the neuro-pathways in my brain to connect to the body, which created greater awareness.
2. Refute: Secondly, I learned that thoughts are just thoughts. They are little bits of electricity that jump randomly through my brain. I can’t stop my mind from thinking any more than I can stop my heart from pumping blood. However, I can choose my thoughts. As I learned to recognize when the Inner Critic is in the driver’s seat, I would refute the negativity by reciting a two-part mantra. The first part would be to say to myself, “That’s an interesting thought…but it’s just a thought! It’s not true.” This little statement took power away from the Inner Critic and gave me the ability to move to the second part of the mantra.
3. Reverse the Negative: After I said to myself, “That’s an interesting thought…but it’s just a thought! It’s not true,” I would say, “In fact, it is just as likely that _______.” I would fill in the blank with the opposite of the negative thought. For example, my critic might say, “I’m going to make a huge mistake and fail.” I would reverse the idea by saying to myself, “It’s just as likely that I’m going to do great and be a huge success.” I would then continue to choose to think about the success. If my Inner Critic tried to get back in the forefront, I would repeat the three steps.
Challenging a bully takes courage. Some days I have to stand up repeatedly to my Inner Critic. He tries to intimidate me, get me to back down and fall in line. Just this morning I had the thought, “I should just give up on my writing. No one cares what I have to say.” I felt the overwhelming rush of discouragement wash over my body.
Then I remembered the three Rs and recognized I was about to be Shanghaied by my bully once again. I said to myself, “That’s an interesting thought, but it’s just a thought. In fact, it’s just as likely that I have something important to offer the world, what I say matters and maybe I can help someone, even if it’s in the smallest way.” I had to remind myself that the Inner Critic’s words are lies and my thoughts can only hurt me if I let them.
In the end, when I confronted my Inner Critic with authenticity and courage, like most bullies, he backed down and ran away.
Author: Chuck Chapman
Article sourced from:https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/03/three-ways-to-silence-our-inner-critic/
While most people imagine depression equals “really sad,” unless you’ve experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine — it’s different for everyone.
To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people can’t see, we asked our mental health community to share one thing people don’t realize they’re doing because they have depression.
Here’s what they had to say:
1. “In social situations, some people don’t realize I withdraw or don’t speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I’m being rude or purposefully antisocial.” — Laura B.
2. “I struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don’t understand, but anxiety and depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer.” — Juli J.
3. “Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think your friends don’t actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation.” — Brynne L.
4. “Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don’t socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It’s my safe bubble.” — Eveline L.
5. “Going to bed at 9 p.m. and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 a.m.” — Karissa D.
6. “Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I’ve said many times before, ‘I laugh, so that I don’t cry.’ Unfortunately, it’s all too true.” — Kelly K.
The excessive drinking. Most people assume I’m trying to be the ‘life of the party’. But my issues are much deeper than that.
7. “When I reach out when I’m depressed it’s ’cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I’m not alone. Not because I want attention.” — Tina B.
8. “I don’t like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social. Not because I don’t like being around people, but because I’m pretty sure everyone can’t stand me.” — Meghan B.
9. “I overcompensate in my work environment… and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an ‘extra happy, bubbly personality.’ As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I feel myself ‘fall.’ It’s exhausting… I am a professional at hiding it.” — Lynda H.
10. “The excessive drinking. Most people assume I’m trying to be the ‘life of the party’ or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it. But my issues are much deeper than that.” — Teresa A.
11. “Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me.” — Kelci F.
12. “Saying I’m tired or don’t feel good… they don’t realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally.” — Lauren G.
13. “Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower, and I can’t think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do – I don’t really want anything. I isolate myself so I don’t have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it’s exhausting.” — Erin W.
14. “Sometimes I’ll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don’t have the willpower to get up and make something to eat.” — Kenzi I.
15. “I don’t talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I’m ‘stuck up.’ I’m actually scared out of my mind worrying they don’t like me, or that they think I’m ‘crazy’ by just looking at me…” — Hanni W.
16. “Not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things.” — Jenny B.
17. “Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful I had taken out my anger on people who don’t deserve it.” — Christie C.
18. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. It’s overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it.” — Aislinn G.
19. “My house is a huge mess.” — Cynthia H.
I smile all the time even though I don’t really want to, but I do it because I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be sad when I’m with other people.
20. “I volunteer for everything, from going to PTO meetings to baby sitting to cleaning someone else’s house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and get out of the house because if I’m not needed, I won’t be wanted.” — Carleigh W.
21. “Overthinking everything and over-planning. The need to make everything perfect and everyone happy, even if it’s taking all my energy. As if validation from someone else will make it all better. Sometimes I start out on high power, then just crash and don’t even enjoy what I’ve spent weeks/months planning. And no one will see me for months after, as I retreat into my safe bubble.” — Vicki G.
22. “I smile all the time even though I don’t really want to, but I do it because I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be sad when I’m with other people. I also do whatever it takes to make someone else happy because since I don’t feel happy most of the time, it just makes me feel a little better seeing someone else happy. I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just want someone around.” — Wendy E.
23. “People don’t realize I say sorry before I even think about expressing any opinions because that’s how worthless I feel. I’m apologizing for feeling anything about anything because that’s how little I feel I matter. They don’t just know I feel like apologizing for even breathing in their general direction. I even say I’m sorry before asking to use the bathroom no matter how long I’ve held it. I feel like a burden for biological needs I have no control over.” — Amy Y.
24. “Neglecting to do basic things like laundry, not wanting to cook a meal or eat. They think I’m being lazy.” — Rebecca R.
25. “Sometimes I’ll go days without speaking to anybody. People tend to believe I’m ignoring them on purpose when really I am just lost within myself. I don’t mean to seem like I’m pushing people away. Some days it’s hard when my thoughts consume me and when I can’t find the motivation to do simple things that others do on a daily basis.” — Alyssa A.
26. “People don’t realize I can’t say no without feeling guilty. I have to have a good enough reason for everything I do. I guess it’s customary to try and convince someone to change their answer, but people have no idea how much it takes for me to say no in the first place. I feel worthless so much that I feel guilty for even thinking of putting my needs or wants first. Then I just feel like a doormat when I cave into the pressure. It’s a never-ending cycle.” — Amy Y.
27. “I push away/cut off everyone who I care about because I can’t bear to be hurt by them! Everyone just thinks I’m mean and anti-social.” — Tina R.
28. “Going for late night walks by myself. My depression keeps me awake at night and my thoughts can get so overwhelming I feel physically crowded inside. Late night walks help me quiet the screaming in my head.” — Lynnie L.
29. “I have often been accused of having ‘no sense of humor.’ So wrong. Before depression took over my life I smiled and laughed as much as the next person. Now, having lived with depression for over 15 years, the humor I find in a joke or situation is rarely visible on my face or heard in my laugh. I feel humor, but it’s just too much effort to express it. I don’t have the energy.” — Martha W.
30. “Keeping the house dark is a comfort thing for me. People always point it out, like, ‘No wonder you’re so depressed. You need to let some light in.’ Darkness in my living space makes me feel comfortable, almost like I’m not alone. Good days, I’m all about the sunshine!” — Michelle T.
Article sourced from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/30-things-youre-doing-because-of-your-depression_us_58b5be36e4b0780bac2db892?
Your wise grandma may have told you never to judge a book by its cover, but when it comes to heart disease, you should rethink that advice. According to research from Intermountain Medical Center Heart Institute and Johns Hopkins University, a person’s body shape may be a better predictor of future heart disease than either body weight or body mass index.
Scientists looked at 200 patients with type 1 or type 2 diabetes—chosen because they had a high proclivity for developing left ventricular dysfunction—and assessed heart disease risk based on whether each patient carried more weight on the hips or in the abdomen. Subjects underwent CT screenings and echocardiography to measure global systolic longitudinal strain, which is an index of left ventricular function.
So, for a lower risk of heart disease, is it better to resemble an apple or a pear?
The researchers found that greater waist circumference was associated with “progressively worse global strain.” They could not find similar findings with other commonly used measures.
“After including either weight or BMI in the regression model, only waist circumference remained an independent predictor of global [strain], while weight and BMI became non-significant,” the authors wrote.
One of the report’s authors, Brent Muhlestein, MD, concluded, “This study confirms that having an apple-shaped body—or a high waist circumference—can lead to heart disease, and that reducing your waist size can reduce your risks.”
This information was presented at the American College of Cardiology 2016 Scientific Session in Chicago. An abstract appeared in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology (2016; 67 [13_S], 1609).
Article sourced from: http://www.ideafit.com/fitness-library/body-shape-predicts-heart-disease-risk
Why should we choose you as our Dietitian Katie?
Firstly, because I enjoy all things food – eating food, talking about food, cooking (especially baking) and experimenting with new foods. It was my love of food, along with my desire to work in the health profession that led me to make the move from my small, country town on the Lower Mid North Coast to Newcastle to study Nutrition and Dietetics. I am also an advocate of all foods in moderation (you can’t have a birthday with no cake!) and am passionate about providing realistic advice that will lead to a healthy lifestyle that is sustainable in the long-term. Thanks to my background in competitive sport I have developed a strong interest in the area of sports nutrition to improve performance and give athletes the edge. You can also receive education on how to shop, cooking techniques, meal ideas and delicious recipes. You will be provided with credible sources of nutrition information and bust through any myths around health, lifestyle and diet.
Thanks Katie. Mid North Coast Physio are offering 5 FREE assessments with Katie to help you reach your health goals and discover a happier, healthier version of you. Call 1300273747 NOW to secure your FREE assessment before they are gone. Isn’t it time you started feeling great again?
We’re looking for people like you, who are passionate about fitness and ready to take the next step in starting a rewarding and hands-on career.
Simply refer them to Dan Tempest via 0432 579 221 or firstname.lastname@example.org who is the Coffs Coast Campus Manager of The Australian Institute of Personal Trainers for more information.
Spread the word and start earning because for every referral who enrols into our Complete Personal Trainer course this month you will receive $200 cash. The more people you refer successfully, the more cash you can earn as there is no limit. We will also give your friend a $200 study voucher when they enrol, so everybody wins.
Senior’s Week for 2017 will be held from the 3rd – 12th of March, and we have plenty planned both in and out of the clubs to celebrate.
Seniors Week Events at Toormina:
- Morning Tea at Hidden Link Cafe Monday 6th 9:15am – $10 Coffee & Cake Deal
- Laughter Yoga Wednesday 8th, 10:30am in the Main Studio
- FREE Mini Massages on Friday 3rd 9-10am, Monday 6th 10-11am, Thursday 9th 9-10am and Friday 10th 9-10am
Seniors Week Events at Moonee:
- Morning Tea at Mr Good Beans Thursday 9th 9:30am – $10 Coffee & Cake Deal
- Laughter Yoga Thursday 9th 8:30am
In addition to these events, visits to the club and our 50+ classes will be FREE for all Seniors during the week so please bring your friends & family along. As an added bonus, we are also offering NO JOINING FEE (save $149) on all Baby Boomer memberships until the 12th of March.
For more information on Senior’s Week events on the Coffs Coast please visit http://www.nswseniorsfestival.com.au/events
Zumba is also on our timetable at MOONEE on Wednesdays at 6.30pm and at TOORMINA on Tuesdays at 6.30pm and Thursdays at 5.30pm. Why not bring your friends and join the party?
The theme is CIRCUS as Camp Quality believes that ‘laughter is the best medicine’. So why not dress up, bring a friend, dig deep and join us for your favourite classes.
SUPER SATURDAY at Toormina – 18th March
MAD MONDAY at Moonee – 20th March
1 bunch baby beetroot, washed and trimmed
1/4 cup sugar-free balsamic dressing
2 cups mixed salad greens
1 small red onion sliced into wedges
1. Wrap beetroot in foil then bake in hot oven 200 C for 1 hour or until tender. Cool. Peel off skin then cut into quarters.
2. Place in a salad bowl then pour over dressing add greens then toss.
3. Crumble fetta over salad and season with freshly ground pepper.
If you would like more delicious salad recipes like this one just log on to our Healthy Inspirations web site http://www.healthyinspirations.com.au/nsw-coffs-harbour/ for your FREE salad eBook.
Come in to either of our clubs and pick out some quality clothing for 10-50% OFF selected items during March!
Let your appearance reflect your performance with our leading range of SMAI training apparel. SMAI apparel is designed to ensure that the clothing serves the range of movement required. Compression clothing is the new black in exercise clothing. SMAI compression wear increases circulation and reduces muscle fatigue, by creating additional support to key muscle groups, this increases strength and control allowing you to become faster and more powerful.
CORE4 is an exclusive discounted health supplements pack including:
NanoPro is a detox and recovery protein SUPERFOOD!
NanoGreens is 10 servings of vegetable and fruit antioxidants PER SERVE!
NanoEPA is 300% more absorbable than normal fish oil pills. GREAT LEMON TASTE!
NanoLean is your SECRET WEAPON for weight management!
During the month of March you can get the entire CORE4 pack for ONLY $257. If you need the products individually, we will also be offering 10% OFF each of them until the end of the month. Time to stack up!
We are also very proud to introduce you to the Your Health Experts brand. Coffs Coast Health Club has joined forces with other local health professionals to bring you a mini health-mag that contains lots of interesting and entertaining heath and wellness information.
We’ll be sending your first copy of Your Health Experts next week. Enjoy! and please let us know what you think. If you have ideas for topics you would like to see covered or comments on the stories produced we’d love to hear them.
In the meantime, join the Your Health Experts facebook page here…