Posts Tagged ‘Mothers Day’

That Mother & Son Bond

May 13, 2017

Young adult/late teen son kissing his mother on the cheek.
There is something very special about the bond between mothers and sons. I didn’t realise how special it was until I become a mother to a baby boy. And when I look back at my pregnancy, I can’t believe I was worried.

Like most expectant mothers when asked if I wanted a boy or a girl, I said, “I don’t care what I have so long as the baby is healthy.” And I meant it. But I have to confess: I really wanted a girl.

Before I knew what I was having – I had a dream. I remember waking up and shouting “It’s a girl!” I was so excited, I had visions of mother/daughter shopping sprees and painting each other’s nails and playing with dolls. For the next few weeks, I wandered through children department stores looking at dresses and skirts and little pink bows. Shopping for little girls was so much fun.

Three days before my 30th birthday, I walked into my sonogram appointment hand in hand with my husband. We were anxious to know the sex of our first child. When the clinician told us we were having a boy – my husband couldn’t stop smiling and there were tears in his eyes. He was going to have someone to throw the football around with.

I cried too. I was happy, grateful that I was having a healthy baby boy. But I was scared. What would I do with a boy? How could I possibly bond with my son? I’m as girly girl as they come. I don’t play sports, watch sports or understand sports. Roller coasters scare me and I don’t like getting my hands dirty. I don’t care about cars or play video games. I can’t even ride a bike. I worried that being a boy mom wouldn’t be fun for me and that my son would think I was the world’s dullest mother.

And then Norrin was born. The older he gets, the stronger our bond becomes. And it has nothing to do with any of the things that I worried about. When he reaches for my hand, I know that I am the only mother for him. Norrin and I just have a great time together. He makes me laugh like I’ve never laughed before. I love playing with cars and sword fighting. I don’t mind that he wants to wrestle or play catch. And he doesn’t mind that I can’t throw a ball to save my life. And now I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like if I wasn’t a boy mom. And you know what else? Shopping for boy clothes is just as much fun.

It’s Mother’s Day weekend and I asked my favorite mom bloggers to share what they love about motherhood and raising boys.

 

  • Meant To Be

    “What is it like being the mother of three boys? It feels like I was meant do be the mother of boys. For me, it’s a divine hand tailored blessing. My father died when I was barely six years old, resulting in me growing up in a household of females. Males were an intimidating mystery, until one only seconds old was placed in my arms. Watching my first born son from the first minutes he was born as he grew into the 18 year old young man I am now proud to be the mother of, has helped me in all my relationships with the males I have come to meet and work with. There is no uncomfortable unknown of strangeness of men — I have seen their beginnings and understand they are someone’s son. It has, in no fewer words, placed me on a different plateau of living. I was hand picked and chosen, to be the mother of only boys.”

    Alexandra Rosas, Good Day Regular People 

     

  • It’s a Dirty Job

    “Being a boy mama is dirty, messy, and extremely loud. It’s a bit like raising a band of pirates. But there is absolutely nothing better than little boy cuddles and hearing “I love you, Mommy” from my sweet (and sometimes stinky) boys.”

    – Shell, Things I Can’t Say 

     

  • Boys Will Always Be Boys
    “Max may have cerebral palsy, but in many ways raising him is like raising any boy. He loves cars, trains and whatever has wheels and goes fast. He can eat his body weight in ice-cream, and regularly tries to convince me it’s perfectly fine to have as a main course. He’s perfectly fine with pulling dirty t-shirts out of the laundry and re-wearing them. He thinks farting is hysterical. And he thinks his mommy walks on water.”
    – Ellen Seidman, Love That Max
  • The Best Job Ever

    “Being my little man’s mom is one of the best jobs I have. He is sweet, timid, curious and definitely keeps me on my toes. He is my first born and watching him grow is very bittersweet. I treasure the conversation and the memories we make. I am lucky to be his mama.”

    – Ruby Wright, Babble Contributor

     

  • Lessons In Love and Life
    “I always wanted a boy. Having Max has changed my life in ways I never knew possible. He has taught me tender love and ferocious protectiveness. He has shown me how precious and fragile life is, and to cherish every second. I am technically his mother, but it seems I am the one learning all the lessons of life from my only child. My heart will always be wide open to him and I will do everything in my power to raise him with the best intentions.”

    – Nicole Presley, Babble Contributor

     

  • Boys to Men
    There are a few things a mother thinks about when raising boys. It starts out that you want them to stop moving because they never stop moving. Then you want them to stop pretending to shoot each other with pencils, stuffed animals, books or anything they can find to make into a pretend gun. Eventually, the thoughts evolve into how to raise these uncontrollable, emotional, testosterone-driven boys into respectful and empathetic men, ones who do not bully or hurt other people.”
    – Yvonne Condes, Babble Voices Contributor

Article Sourced here: https://www.babble.com/kid/the-special-bond-between-mothers-and-sons/

 

The Mother Daughter Bond

May 13, 2017

bond
The relationship between a woman and her mother is so powerful, it affects everything from her health and self-esteem to all her other relationships, experts say. Dr Christiane Northrup, author of the book Mother-Daughter Wisdom (Hay House), says: “The mother-daughter relationship is the most powerful bond in the world, for better or for worse. It sets the stage for all other relationships.”

Dr Northrup says that no other childhood experience is as compelling as a young girl’s relationship with her mother. “Each of us takes in at a cellular level how our mother feels about being female, what she believes about her body, how she takes care of her health, and what she believes is possible in life.”

Jennie Hannan, executive general manager of services at counselling provider Anglicare WA, agrees. “How a woman sees herself, how she is in her adult relationships with partners, and how she mothers her own children, is profoundly influenced by her relationship with her own mother,” she says. But while most five-year-old girls love their mothers with an unshakeable conviction, it’s often a different story by the time they reach adolescence. The once-adored woman who rarely put a foot wrong is suddenly always doing embarrassing things.

Different phases

“The time you are going to start having major problems with your daughter will be around adolescence,” Hannan says. “Adolescence is a very difficult, tumultuous time for children and their parents, and it tends to happen in girls earlier than in boys.”

Fortunately this wild swing from closeness to remoteness usually only lasts until the daughter reaches adulthood. “If the mother and daughter can hang in there during adolescence, your relationship moves to a different level and becomes more of a respectful friendship,” Hannan says.

“I think what triggers them coming back is they become independent … they move away from home, get a job, do the adult things in life. There’s a need to grow up and the relationship shifts.”

The relationship will change again when the daughter has children. “There’s a greater level of understanding of the sort of depth of responsibility that you have as a mother to that child.” If you had a less-than-perfect relationship with your mother, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you won’t have a good relationship with your own daughter, Hannan says.

“It gives you a head start if you had a good relationship with your mother, but lots of women who have had bad relationships with their mothers have had really positive relationships with other women in their lives.

“The idea that you can have a perfect relationship with anybody is flawed. Mothers do get blamed an awful lot if something’s wrong with their kids. But being aware of things that were good and not good in your relationship with your mum is really important in not repeating any mistakes.”

For most, the mother-daughter relationship is ultimately fulfilling. Despite conflicts and complicated emotions, 80 to 90 per cent of women at midlife reported a good relationship with their mother, a Pennsylvania State University study found.

“The relationship between mothers and their adult daughters is one in which the participants handle being upset with one another better than in any other relationship,” says researcher Karen Fingerman, author of Aging Mothers And Their Adult Daughters: A Study In Mixed Emotions (Springer). “There is value in the mother-daughter tie because the two parties care for one another and share a strong investment in the family as a whole.”

Forging a strong bond with your own daughter

“I’m a big believer in mother-daughter time,” Anglicare WA’s Jennie Hannan says. “I think we underestimate how important it is for mums and daughters to do things together in those early years. Doing that builds a foundation that will help you get through adolescence.” Here are some ideas:

Go on regular special outings just the two of you. “Even just going to the park, when your daughter is little, will be worthwhile,” Hannan says. Start mother-daughter traditions, such as going on long walks together, dining at a favourite restaurant or spending time together updating family photo albums. Go shopping together. Make something together – cookies, a cake, an egg-carton caterpillar. Watch a movie together, even if it’s just at home on the couch.

Keeping things on an even keel with your mum is not always easy, as many celebrity mother-daughter relationships demonstrate. Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Meg Ryan and Britney Spears have all had very public bust-ups with their mums.

It’s never too late to repair your relationship
  • Try a counselling session on your own first to help you work out whether or not it will be helpful to attend counselling with your mother or daughter.
  • Sometimes it’s not possible to repair things that happened long ago. Instead, focus on working out how you would like to treat each other now.
  • Even if your mother has passed away, if you have unresolved issues you could benefit from counselling sessions. “Sometimes talking through the possibilities of why something might have occurred can help you get some perspective,” Jennie Hannan says.

Article sourced here: http://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/sex-relationships/relationships/the-mother-daughter-bond/

Mothers Seen as Holding Key to Family Fitness

May 10, 2015

Out-of-shape American schoolchildren may have a new and, at first glance, somewhat unlikely group of fitness coaches: their mothers.

But, said a group of fitness experts and athletes gathered at UC Irvine last week for the first California Women’s Leadership Conference on Fitness and Health, the leading role of women in teaching good health habits to their families shouldn’t be underestimated.

“Women are a great influence on the health and the fitness attitudes of the family and they will be the ones who help get those attitudes on track,” said Harriet Harris, chairman of the conference. “You can’t start forming those attitudes too early. It begins in the cradle.”

The two-day conference was a statewide follow-up to the National Women’s Leadership Conference on Fitness, held in 1984 in Washington and sponsored by the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. California is the ninth state to hold such a follow-up meeting.

Nearly 400 conference attendees, most of them women dressed in exercise clothes, listened Thursday to talks by health professionals that focused in part on the role of women as fitness educators and role models for their families.

Better Examples Needed

At the conference’s opening ceremonies at the Irvine Hilton Wednesday night, the audience heard a recitation of statistics compiled from a survey by the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports that showed, said speakers, the need for better examples of fitness in the home.

The nationwide survey, conducted last year with 18,857 public school children ages 6 to 17, found a continuing “low level of performance” in such key areas as running, jumping, flexibility and strength.

Among the survey’s findings:

– Forty percent of boys ages 6 to 12 and 70% of all the girls could not do more than one pullup.

– Half of the girls ages 6 to 17 and 30% of the boys ages 6 to 12 could not run a mile in less than 10 minutes.

– Forty-five percent of boys ages 6 to 14 and 55% of all the girls could not hold their chin over a raised bar for more than 10 seconds.

George Allen, former head coach of the Washington Redskins and Los Angeles Rams and currently chairman of the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, said he found the statistics “appalling.”

“When I hear that a 17-year-old can’t run a mile in less than 13 minutes, I think that’s a disgrace,” Allen said at the opening of the second day of the conference. “If I were grading the United States on fitness and comparing us with other nations, in my opinion we would be in last place in youth fitness. I think the fitness boom is a misconception because it isn’t there among the youth. It’s among adults and has nothing to do with kids.”

With Children More

Women, Allen said, should use their numbers and political influence in demanding a return of required physical education in schools. And, he added, in the home “women are better at communicating fitness to kids than men. They’re with kids more. They buy and prepare the food they eat. And they can set an example by being in shape themselves and by not smoking or drinking. They set an example by leading an active life.”

The conference itself was hardly inactive.

Those attending were encouraged in advance to wear exercise clothes in anticipation of a 20-minute “exercise break” led by Jacki Sorensen, the originator of aerobic dancing.

“The responsibility for the fitness of children doesn’t lie with the schools,” Sorensen said later. “It lies with the parents. Fitness for them should be as common as brushing your teeth, but so many adults are doing nothing.”

mothers
While fitness may have become fashionable with many adults, between 40% and 50% of adults still do not exercise regularly, Sorensen said. And, as a result, neither do their children.

Life-Style Point of View

“You can’t fool kids,” she said. “And you can’t just do it by example. You have to involve your kids in it. I think it’s really wrong to teach a young child to exercise because they already do it through play. They have natural exuberance. When they get older, though, you have to approach fitness through a life-style point of view and not an actual exercise program.”

Often, Sorensen said, regimented exercise programs are so difficult that many beginners give up at the start.

“We have to come up with programs that are easier,” she said. “Right now, in the health clubs, what you have are the semi-elite of fitness. The classes at the clubs are a bit too difficult around the country. It (exercise) needs to be introduced gently, gradually. You shouldn’t start with the optimum. It doesn’t even have to be aerobic. Maybe just walking and talking. What better time to talk to your kids? Ask them what they want to do. If they want to go on a picnic, park a mile away and walk to the place you’re going to have the picnic.”

Article sourced here: http://articles.latimes.com/1986-04-01/news/vw-1746_1_family-s-fitness